Happiness levels in Britain have reached a new high today as people around the country realise that going to the pub with your mates is in fact ‘mint’. As the week draws to a close millions of Britons are ...Read More

Revellers in London are being warned to take extra care this weekend following an outbreak of the dreaded disco disease ‘Rave Leg’ after a contaminated ‘gypsy-house-crunkstep tear out’ reached critical mass in Dalston. The Centre for Disease Control has ...Read More

As Chinese researchers announce that they have managed to make replacement teeth out of urine, The Marmot has learnt that Spanish researchers are close to making replacement organs for transplant out of even more outlandish body waste. Dr Juan ...Read More

A row has broken out over controversial plans by the government to scrap the free 999 service for emergency medical care. Under the new reforms patients requiring urgent treatments in life threatening scenarios will have to call a premium ...Read More

Researchers have determined that the cause of poorness in children is heriditary. Scientists from St Thomas’ Hospital in London have determined that poverty levels can be predicted by the presence or absence of a particular gene in one or ...Read More

There has been widespread joy in South America as Morrissey announced the cancellation of his tour over some venues insistence on compulsory meat zones. Morrissey, 65, is a vocal and irritatingly preachy advocate of veganism. In the past he ...Read More

  The Government is to delay plans to introduce plain packaging on cigarettes in the UK following pressure from consumers and the tobacco lobby. Instead of featuring graphic warnings about the dangers of smoking and a complete absence of ...Read More