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You are here » The Marmot » Archives for Science / Nature

UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS ‘LEADS SCIENCE INNOVATION’

In All | By themarmot | On 26th September, 2013 | No Comment
Commentators are hailing this week as a momentous one for science following several scientific breakthroughs from the University of Lagos in Nigeria. Chibuihem Amalaha, a postgraduate student at UoL wowed the academic community this week by ‘disproving homosexuality’ using ...Read More

UK HYPERLOOP CITIES UNVEILED

In All | By themarmot | On 14th August, 2013 | No Comment
Artist's impression of Hyperloop | The Marmot | Joke News Site
After wowing technology observers with his plans for a near-supersonic ‘Hyperloop’ transport system linking Los Angeles and San Francisco, US entrepreneur Elon Musk has unveiled the British side of the project. Dubbed ‘HS3’, the project is set to link ...Read More

PANDA ‘UP THE STICK’ AFTER DRUNKEN NIGHT OUT

In All | By themarmot | On 9th August, 2013 | No Comment
Smashed panda | The Marmot | Joke News Site
Edinburgh Zoo has said there are strong indications that its female giant panda is pregnant following a particular heavy drinking session. Tian Tian rolled in at 10am two Sundays ago after drinking heavily in the town’s Grassmarket area, walking ...Read More

TROLLS SAY ‘BOLLOCKS’ TO WEB ALLEGATIONS

In All | By themarmot | On 7th August, 2013 | 1 Comment
A troll, definitely not online | The Marmot | Joke News Site
As the storm over Internet bullying rumbles on after threats against women on Twitter and other noteworthy cases, some actual trolls have contacted The Marmot to set the record straight. Dorkuraz Baker, a traditional offline troll from Huddersfield said ...Read More

LAB GROWN MEAT ‘ON KILLING SPREE’

In All | By themarmot | On 5th August, 2013 | No Comment
Attempts to eat the first laboratory grown hamburger have gone hideously wrong today when the artificial junk food became self aware and defended itself vigorously. Scientists were horrified when Dr Steven Bacon was decapitated by the £250,000 patty using ...Read More

Apple ‘to release iColon’

In All | By themarmot | On 1st August, 2013 | 1 Comment
Apple | The Marmot | Joke News Site
Technology giant Apple is about to make its first foray into the lucrative world of medical technology this week when it unveils the long awaited iColon. The device is thought to be a new method of aftercare for patients ...Read More

Scientists say poorness ‘hereditary’

In All | By themarmot | On 22nd July, 2013 | No Comment
Unlikely to go hungry
Researchers have determined that the cause of poorness in children is heriditary. Scientists from St Thomas’ Hospital in London have determined that poverty levels can be predicted by the presence or absence of a particular gene in one or ...Read More

Uri Geller exposed as CIA operative

In All | By themarmot | On 22nd July, 2013 | No Comment
Uri Geller
TV bender Uri Geller was revealed to have been working as a ‘psychic spy’ for several intelligence agencies around the world in a BBC documentary this week. Some of the claims surrounding Geller’s feats seemingly outlandish feats have been ...Read More

British heatwave ‘to last til teatime’

In Environment | By themarmot | On 17th July, 2013 | No Comment
As Britain enters the second week of its unexpected heatwave, scientists from the Met Office are predicting that the unseasonable heat could last as long as ‘tea time’. Traditionally the months of July and August see massive rainfall in ...Read More

Badgers are UK’s ‘Top Roadkill’

In Random | By themarmot | On 10th July, 2013 | No Comment
Badgers are the UK’s most prevalent animal species involved in traffic accidents according to a new survey by Cardiff University. Their new ‘Project Splatter’ report suggests that the plucky mustelidae account for 25% of reported roadkill incidents. Graham Charlton, ...Read More
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