UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS ‘LEADS SCIENCE INNOVATION’
Commentators are hailing this week as a momentous one for science following several scientific breakthroughs from the University of Lagos in Nigeria. Chibuihem Amalaha, a postgraduate student at UoL wowed the academic community this week by ‘disproving homosexuality’ using ...Read More
UK HYPERLOOP CITIES UNVEILED
After wowing technology observers with his plans for a near-supersonic ‘Hyperloop’ transport system linking Los Angeles and San Francisco, US entrepreneur Elon Musk has unveiled the British side of the project. Dubbed ‘HS3’, the project is set to link ...Read More
PANDA ‘UP THE STICK’ AFTER DRUNKEN NIGHT OUT
Edinburgh Zoo has said there are strong indications that its female giant panda is pregnant following a particular heavy drinking session. Tian Tian rolled in at 10am two Sundays ago after drinking heavily in the town’s Grassmarket area, walking ...Read More
TROLLS SAY ‘BOLLOCKS’ TO WEB ALLEGATIONS
As the storm over Internet bullying rumbles on after threats against women on Twitter and other noteworthy cases, some actual trolls have contacted The Marmot to set the record straight. Dorkuraz Baker, a traditional offline troll from Huddersfield said ...Read More
LAB GROWN MEAT ‘ON KILLING SPREE’
Attempts to eat the first laboratory grown hamburger have gone hideously wrong today when the artificial junk food became self aware and defended itself vigorously. Scientists were horrified when Dr Steven Bacon was decapitated by the £250,000 patty using ...Read More
Apple ‘to release iColon’
Technology giant Apple is about to make its first foray into the lucrative world of medical technology this week when it unveils the long awaited iColon. The device is thought to be a new method of aftercare for patients ...Read More
Scientists say poorness ‘hereditary’
Researchers have determined that the cause of poorness in children is heriditary. Scientists from St Thomas’ Hospital in London have determined that poverty levels can be predicted by the presence or absence of a particular gene in one or ...Read More
Uri Geller exposed as CIA operative
TV bender Uri Geller was revealed to have been working as a ‘psychic spy’ for several intelligence agencies around the world in a BBC documentary this week. Some of the claims surrounding Geller’s feats seemingly outlandish feats have been ...Read More
British heatwave ‘to last til teatime’
As Britain enters the second week of its unexpected heatwave, scientists from the Met Office are predicting that the unseasonable heat could last as long as ‘tea time’. Traditionally the months of July and August see massive rainfall in ...Read More
Badgers are UK’s ‘Top Roadkill’
Badgers are the UK’s most prevalent animal species involved in traffic accidents according to a new survey by Cardiff University. Their new ‘Project Splatter’ report suggests that the plucky mustelidae account for 25% of reported roadkill incidents. Graham Charlton, ...Read More