After shocking elderly viewers with their gritty depiction of the rape of a main character this week, the writers of Downton Abbey have revealed that there are plans afoot to make the period drama appeal to a younger demographic.

Disaster looms at Downtown

Disaster looms at Downtown

“We at Downton have been aware for a while that the bulk of our viewers are over 60 and in search of some gentle escapism,” says Sid Sigue-Sputnik, Downton’s chief scriptwriter. “However, it is safe to say that the bulk of them will be dead in the next few years so we need to make sure that we are attracting a new generation of viewers.”

The plans are thought to take inspiration from popular computer game Grand Theft Auto 5 and include plotlines such as:

  • John Bates going on a KILLING SPREE with a Gatling gun to avenge the rape of his wife
  • Lord Grantham starting a COCAINE SMUGGLING operation
  • The Abbey being gradually turned into a BROTHEL
  • Molesley going on a rampage on a stolen PENNY FARTHING

Professional shelf replenisher Tamsin Flangeington said “Hollyoaks is my kind of soap innit, but I’m looking to start watching something even more mainstream in an ironic way and Downton could just fit the bill as long as they jazz it up a bit.”

“I know it is meant to be for older folk but I’m hoping for more sex, violence, and maybe a cameo from Nicki Minaj.”