Legal history was made today when the House of Lords voted to allow a controversial amendment to UK law to pass its second reading and be entered into the statute books.

A hungry man today

A hungry man today

Thought to be inspired by the French concept of a ‘crime of passion’, from September 1st defendants in the UK will be able to use a special legal defence of being hungry when faced with charges relating to angry outbursts, property damage or crimes against the person.

Keith Richards QC from the Department of Public Prosecutions said ‘We’ve all been there – a seemingly tedious situation where someone mildly annoys you. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t give a shit, like someone standing on your heel on the tube, but today you were fucking starving so you couldn’t help following the fucker outside and pushing her under a bus.’

It is thought that the defence could stop hundreds of people going to jail each year. A second amendment to the bill is thought to be in the pipeline for next year which would allow you to legally garotte someone who stole your bacon sarnie during a hangover.

A hamburger, also today

A hamburger, also today