A Peruvian national has been arrested on smuggling charges in London according to Scotland Yard.

Paddington Bear | The Marmot - Joke news site

Paddington Bear

Paddington Bear, 63, from Lima was arrested at 2:05 on Brick Lane carrying a suitcase full of pure, uncut marmalade sandwiches with a street value of up to £3. A source close to Mr Bear told The Marmot that his client had been coerced into carrying the suitcase through customs by a gang of armed golliwogs working for Robertson’s, a notorious marmalade supplier.

Mr Bear is currently being held in solitary confinement at the high security Paddington Green police station, often used for the detention of potential terrorist suspects.

Scotland Yard are thought to view the bear’s allegations of coercion to be false after finding evidence that he will do anything for money following an appearance in a Marmite advert.

The suspect is thought to be in the UK illegally, having taken part in adoption scam in the late 50s – which was the subject of Britain’s first fly on the wall documentary series ‘Paddington Bear’.

Mr Bear is thought to have originally been detained under schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act which allows people who look a bit foreign or who have beards to be detained indefinitely.

Robertsons officially changed their slogan from “Get off your head on Golden Shred” and stopped using the golliwog mascot in 2009.

Marmalade

Marmalade