The Daily ......

The Daily ……

A man who was caught by police reading the Daily Mail in his car has claimed that he was actually waiting for a prostitute.

Niknak Paddywhack, 39, was initially arrested on suspicion of breaching the peace whilst parked in a residential street. Officers described his reading material as being ‘truly awful, the worst of the worst and a testament to just how low the human race can stoop.’

Mr Paddywhack tried to distract the attending officers by claiming that he was there to solicit a prostitute for sex and only came to be holding the Daily Mail by accident. Our artist’s impression shows what a ‘safe for work’ version of the paper might look like.

However, Judge Percival Manfat did not accept this defence at Birmingham Crown Court and Mr Paddywhack was convicted under the Obscene Publications Act.

Sentencing has been scheduled for August 8th. It is thought that Mr Paddywhack is looking at two years reading The Times although this could be reduced to The Guardian on appeal.