Blue Peter

Blue Peter

After a nationwide hunt for a new star to host its flagship children’s TV show Blue Peter, the BBC has finally announced who is going to be taking on the most coveted job in television. Known for their squeaky clean personalities and impeccable off screen behaviour, Blue Peter presenters are one of the last bastions of respectability in the modern world.

Speaking from the new BBC studios in Salford, Bez (formally of popular beat combo The Happy Mondays) said “I am literally mad for it. I look forward to showing children the simple joys of life and how to fashion useful things from everyday items, like making a bong out of sticky back plastic and a lemonade bottle.’

It is widely thought that Bez will make full use of the existing show conventions by turning up already off his tits from ‘one he necked earlier.’

The appointment of Bez is the latest in a series of celebrity re-rubs of children’s TV shows starting with Pete Docherty’s ‘Crack House’ in which he reprises the fun environment first popularised by Pat Sharp in the 80s but with somewhat different prizes and a markedly higher crime level associated with it.

Bez

Bez