Crowds have lined Leicester Square this week to see One Direction premiering their new movie, ‘This Is Us’ at the Empire Theatre. “It was like a massive oestrogen-fest,” confessed the boy-band’s bodyguard, “and that was before the screaming fans flocked in.”One Direction Poster | The Marmot - Joke News Site

The movie is also a comeback for ‘Supersize Me’ director, Morgan Spurlock.

“I needed the money really. One Direction were the perfect stars because the minimum wage for children is lower,” said Spurlock.

The movie is a massive success, breaking Box Office records in it’s first two days of release, with unprecedented ticket sales for showings after 10pm and being the most streamed clip on teen site Junior Beanflicker.

‘This Is Us’ is a poignant drama depicting the boys’ lonely months on the road, fears of voice-breaking trauma full of deep and meaningful conversations. The biggest tear-jerker is when Harry Style’s older girlfriend is revealed to technically not be a paedo when he produces his driving licence in Tesco’s to prove he’s old enough to buy a lottery ticket.

The documentary also includes a completely irrelevant sex scene involving three women, two midgets and a swan. Spurlock remarked of the scene “The secondary demographic for One Direction concerts are the fathers who weren’t able to set their daughters up with fake ID, so I wanted to do something for them.”