Rose West

Rose West

Celebrity culture followers around the UK have been left reeling today by the revelation that Peter Andre has been conducting a steamy postal affair with Rosemary ‘House of Horrors’ West.

Sources close to the Australian singer say that Andre, 19, has been infatuated with Mrs West since he did a charity gig in HMP Durham where she was incarcerated.

‘It was love at first sight’ said Andre’s GCSE French teacher Monsieur Bellen d’Foam. ‘Like star crossed lovers, their eyes met across the prison canteen where Peter was performing and that was that’.

It is understood that Peter has been sending prison appropriate gifts to Rose such as cakes with a file in them, snouts and makeshift chibs in an attempt to woo her.

Speaking from the back of his chauffeur driven spacehopper, Andre said ‘I knew she was the one from the moment I saw her. I had to cut my performance short and hastily write down the words to my biggest hit ‘Mysterious Girl’ as they entered my head. It is totally about my beautiful English Rose’.

'Mysterious Girl'

‘Mysterious Girl’

This isn’t the first time Rose West has had amorous attention from the pop world after being briefly engaged to the bassist from 70s glam rockers Slade in 2003.