As Chinese researchers announce that they have managed to make replacement teeth out of urine, The Marmot has learnt that Spanish researchers are close to making replacement organs for transplant out of even more outlandish body waste.

Transplant organ

Transplant organ

Dr Juan Upmann-Ship of Madrid University said ‘For too long people have been left to rely on the lottery of the organ donation schemes and what is available. Now we can see a brighter future in which a sick patient could have a pancreas made out of belly button fluff or even a kidney made from toenail clippings. We are eventually hoping to engineer a fully working human heart from tagnuts and eye gunk.”

It is not the first time that researchers have claimed a medical breakthrough prematurely though. Researchers from Prestatyn University said they had managed to create a radical new artificial hip out of nostril hair which turned out to be lethally toxic due to bogey based contaminants.